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April 20, 2013
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Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag
The Aperture Institute of Natural Philosophy presents its NEW PRODUCT of ASTOUNDING significance.

Utilising the latest in house defence mechanisms, the patented 'GENTRY TURRET' dispatches unwanted house guests with the height of efficacy and manners. Its superior workmanship conceals 18 miniature pistols within a splendid mahogany adorned bronze shell, designed to sit magnificently alongside your own excellent furnishings.

Delight your fellow gentlemen and gentlewomen with the GENTRY TURRET's operatic mode, producing REAL MUSIC, as if an orchestra were performing in your sitting room! The GENTRY TURRET is also perfect for child-minding, teaching children the many virtues of sitting perfectly still and making absolutely no noise.

With true Victorian values, the GENTRY TURRET is fitted with a STATE OF THE ART miniature gram-a-phone, dispensing appropriate warnings and pleasantries, including...

“Greetings on this fine day”
“I have found your presence to be disagreeable”
“Your untowards advances have been recognised”
“How fortuitous that you have made your visage apparent”
“Please allow me to present you with these bullets”
“May I inquire as to your health?”

The GENTRY TURRET is available in a variety of colours, including arsenic green and lead white, and comes with with a FREE bonnet and leg cover, to avoid the impropriety of showing its ankles. Mail-order yours today!


So yes, I'm reviving the steampunk Portal series I started two years ago, this time with the wonderful sentry turrets. I'd forgotten just how much FUN coming up with the writing to go along with them was! More to come.

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zaltenia Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  New member Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
fancy*Free Icon/Emote* Toothless (Love it!) 
Glide08 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I Imagine them speaking with The Fallout 3 mr handy voice.
Devorad Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014
Woow, genial
LessThanStupid Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Freaky... O_o
CountessHalcyon Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well herp-de-derp dat is SO clever!!! :D
LordFhalkyn Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay, now that's just awesome.
epikbananablobfish Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
SnapCentino Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There is no better assassin then a polite assassin.
StarmanPhantom Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pure adorableness...
welovefine Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013
Love this! You should submit to the official Portal design contest on WeLoveFine!…

Brian Kesinger has a Steam Punk design he's submitting thats beautiful, would love to see your Portal SP designs there as well! Beautiful!
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