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Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag
The Aperture Institute of Natural Philosophy presents its NEW PRODUCT of ASTOUNDING significance.

Utilising the latest in house defence mechanisms, the patented 'GENTRY TURRET' dispatches unwanted house guests with the height of efficacy and manners. Its superior workmanship conceals 18 miniature pistols within a splendid mahogany adorned bronze shell, designed to sit magnificently alongside your own excellent furnishings.

Delight your fellow gentlemen and gentlewomen with the GENTRY TURRET's operatic mode, producing REAL MUSIC, as if an orchestra were performing in your sitting room! The GENTRY TURRET is also perfect for child-minding, teaching children the many virtues of sitting perfectly still and making absolutely no noise.

With true Victorian values, the GENTRY TURRET is fitted with a STATE OF THE ART miniature gram-a-phone, dispensing appropriate warnings and pleasantries, including...

“Greetings on this fine day”
“I have found your presence to be disagreeable”
“Your untowards advances have been recognised”
“How fortuitous that you have made your visage apparent”
“Please allow me to present you with these bullets”
“May I inquire as to your health?”

The GENTRY TURRET is available in a variety of colours, including arsenic green and lead white, and comes with with a FREE bonnet and leg cover, to avoid the impropriety of showing its ankles. Mail-order yours today!

-----

So yes, I'm reviving the steampunk Portal series I started two years ago, this time with the wonderful sentry turrets. I'd forgotten just how much FUN coming up with the writing to go along with them was! More to come.

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Others in this series:
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:iconcleversketch:
CleverSketch Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it.
8.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999/10
It's a piece of art! (Both literally and figuratively)
Reply
:iconkarinikisama:
KariNikiSama Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This reminds me of the Alice madness returns
Video game (if uv head) and there's a kettle that
Kinda reminds me of this...chair? SRY idk 😅
But anyway, very awesome work 👍
Reply
:iconfilthma:
Filthma Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Student Filmographer
I love the one with the dress. x3
Reply
:iconanjona:
Anjona Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, the quotes, I can't XD 
Reply
:iconblargggmaster:
BlargggMaster Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
classy ;  u ; 
Reply
:iconkathichaan:
Kathichaan Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist
God, I love it so much! :3
Reply
:iconcherrysdesigns:
CherrysDesigns Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is brilliant
Reply
:iconmdst313:
mdst313 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Student Interface Designer
Hi thank you for the Arts

Please see this all the time and leave comments
mdst313.deviantart.com/
Reply
:iconkykywox:
Kykywox Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015
Hahaha X'D this is great! :D
Reply
:iconfruitncreme:
FruitnCreme Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Student Digital Artist
"Condolences on your recent deceasement"- i've found a keeper :XD:
Reply
:iconmarkpixel:
MarkPixel Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
a-m-a-z-i-n-g I love it
Reply
:iconshiroku-art:
Shiroku-Art Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Student Artist
I love it *-* I want a figurine of it x)
Reply
:iconfiftyshadezofgold:
fiftyshadezofgold Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
That is cool
Reply
:iconkissakisan:
Kissakisan Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Makes me think of Blasto the Hanar :D
Reply
:iconmrmarinski:
mrmarinski Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
If your a fan o bioshock and portal.
Reply
:iconvinceishype:
VinceIsHype Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
Awesome.
Reply
:iconkh2733:
kh2733 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
Wow so beauty
Reply
:icondoodah:
Doodah Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
looool, awesome
Reply
:iconmatteonl97:
matteoNL97 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow.
Just wow,that's amazing.
Reply
:iconzhale:
Zhale Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
Would you kindly step out from behind that corner? Yes, wrong video game, but still.
Reply
:iconjavabeanjohnny:
JavaBeanJohnny Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Actually that fits for "come back" or "would you come over here?"
Reply
:iconcccanyon:
CCCanyon Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
Destroyer droid?
Reply
:iconstockbystrawberry:
StockbyStrawberry Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Love it!!
Reply
:icondanlothewild:
DanloTheWild Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
brilliant
Reply
:iconbftu:
BFTU Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Professional General Artist
Stunning!
Reply
:iconangusmctavish:
AngusMcTavish Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015
Wonder what they would say if they were knocked over and defeated?

Excellent job on these!
Reply
:iconjavabeanjohnny:
JavaBeanJohnny Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"Congratulations! You have defeated me! I award you with a desperate spray of bullets!"

"Blast! you have rendered me disabled!"

"Its time for me to rest, thank you for visiting,"

"Id best be going now, thank you for allowing me to see you,"

-Willhelm scream-

"This is no state for a gentry! Put me down!"
Reply
:iconangusmctavish:
AngusMcTavish Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015
The rest are great, but that Wilhelm mention... :rofl:  Classic!
Reply
:iconshimonshozen:
ShimonShozen Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awesome piece.
Reply
:iconguill3rmina:
Guill3rmina Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Student General Artist
This is AMAZING!
Reply
:iconbulbousorange:
bulbousOrange Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Are you still present madam?
AhhAHH
Reply
:iconrogerioguimaraes:
RogerioGuimaraes Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Amazing work :clap:
Reply
:iconolbadiehexe:
OlbadieHexe Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Student Artist
I like it
Reply
:iconkaitheboy:
KaiTheBoy Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
pwetty
Reply
:iconhidden-member-ruise:
Hidden-Member-Ruise Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
That...is so cute.
Reply
:iconhidden-member-ruise:
Hidden-Member-Ruise Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
I mean I find it quite delightful.
Reply
:icongagethewalrus:
GagetheWalrus Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Professional General Artist
This is Uber Bad ass
Reply
:iconmiyunori:
miyunori Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Thank you for adding several smiles to my day :D
Reply
:iconnickelprog:
nickelprog Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Good morning, sir!
Hah, that's great! )
Reply
:iconblackflame-fr:
BlackFlame-FR Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Love it!
Reply
:iconhighlordsalemjustice:
This is the best thing.
Reply
:iconbalaskas:
Balaskas Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Nicely done :)
Reply
:iconspartan30000:
Spartan30000 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
*is wearing top hat and monocle* "I Say!, how positively delightfully splendid!" X3
Reply
:iconkriskittie:
KrisKittie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
The little skirt! Ah I love these. Very beautiful design. :heart:
Reply
:iconmarikwarner:
MarikWarner Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Haha I was sold after"perfect for child-minding, teaching children the many virtues of sitting perfectly still and making absolutely no noise",very nice love the bonnet and dress
Reply
:iconrdonarico:
rdonarico Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
EE! Love! ^_^
Reply
:iconrodraws:
rodraws Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ITS GLORIOUS
Reply
:iconshadowlinkster:
ShadowLinkster Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HA!
Reply
:icontetrixd:
TetriXD Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nice!
Reply
:iconpuranaloharaddiway:
puranaloharaddiway Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Make Easily attractive & Sexiest Body impress everyone
tinyurl.hu/B0bP/
Reply
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