Shop More Submit  Join Login
×




Details

Submitted on
April 20, 2013
Image Size
225 KB
Resolution
896×614
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
86,958 (4 today)
Favourites
7,463 (who?)
Comments
285
Downloads
593
×
Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag Steampunk Portal: The Gentry Turret by Risachantag
The Aperture Institute of Natural Philosophy presents its NEW PRODUCT of ASTOUNDING significance.

Utilising the latest in house defence mechanisms, the patented 'GENTRY TURRET' dispatches unwanted house guests with the height of efficacy and manners. Its superior workmanship conceals 18 miniature pistols within a splendid mahogany adorned bronze shell, designed to sit magnificently alongside your own excellent furnishings.

Delight your fellow gentlemen and gentlewomen with the GENTRY TURRET's operatic mode, producing REAL MUSIC, as if an orchestra were performing in your sitting room! The GENTRY TURRET is also perfect for child-minding, teaching children the many virtues of sitting perfectly still and making absolutely no noise.

With true Victorian values, the GENTRY TURRET is fitted with a STATE OF THE ART miniature gram-a-phone, dispensing appropriate warnings and pleasantries, including...

“Greetings on this fine day”
“I have found your presence to be disagreeable”
“Your untowards advances have been recognised”
“How fortuitous that you have made your visage apparent”
“Please allow me to present you with these bullets”
“May I inquire as to your health?”

The GENTRY TURRET is available in a variety of colours, including arsenic green and lead white, and comes with with a FREE bonnet and leg cover, to avoid the impropriety of showing its ankles. Mail-order yours today!

-----

So yes, I'm reviving the steampunk Portal series I started two years ago, this time with the wonderful sentry turrets. I'd forgotten just how much FUN coming up with the writing to go along with them was! More to come.

Share this on Tumblr
If you enjoy the humour, please consider voting for my game on Steam Greenlight.

Others in this series:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe5thbender:
The5thBender Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome!! 
Reply
:iconflayer1993:
Flayer1993 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh so much yes
Reply
:iconrobert64dd:
Robert64dd Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Student General Artist
:iconcavejohnsonplz: just another day in the multiverse

(Nice work X3)
Reply
:iconzaltenia:
zaltenia Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
fancy*Free Icon/Emote* Toothless (Love it!) 
Reply
:iconglide08:
Glide08 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I Imagine them speaking with The Fallout 3 mr handy voice.
Reply
:icondevorad:
Devorad Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014
Woow, genial
Reply
:iconlessthanstupid:
LessThanStupid Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Freaky... O_o
Reply
:iconcountesshalcyon:
CountessHalcyon Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well herp-de-derp dat is SO clever!!! :D
Reply
:iconlordfhalkyn:
LordFhalkyn Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay, now that's just awesome.
Reply
:iconepikbananablobfish:
epikbananablobfish Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
turrets!!!
Reply
Add a Comment: